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Tomahawk Cruise Missiles Are Expensive Just Like Elderly and Poor People

by George on March 22, 2011

Some people have their knickers in a twist because the United States launched some cruise missiles at Libya.

Well, ok, to be accurate, the U.S. launched over a 100 Tomahawk cruise missiles. Maybe that is a lot – especially if you are anywhere in the vicinity of their terminal flight.

See, the Tomahawk cruise missile has a variety of configurations for its payload, but any one of them would probably turn your old high school into a smoking crater.

But, the people questioning the use of Tomahawk cruise missiles are not necessarily upset by the collateral damage they might have caused, but about their cost.

They have a point. Tomahawk cruise missiles aren’t exactly thrifty purchases. Each one costs a bit more than a half-million dollars. Still, it’s probably the cheapest way to destroy anything, including your alma mater.

Our investigation revealed that a conventional building demolition contractor would cost more – and all of them insisted that there wouldn’t be any lethal shrapnel leaving the building structure at supersonic speeds during the implosion.

tomahawk explosion

A different view of urban renewal?

In fact, they seem surprised that this would be a deal-killer for us.

Anyway, the people upset by our expenditure of Tomahawk ordinance wonder where we are going to find the money to replace that $50 million dollar money shot in Libya.

Well, given the political climate, my presumption is that we’ll just cut back on some programs that help poor people and the elderly.

But we are wondering if perhaps we could just bite the moral bullet and launch Tomahawks into poor neighborhoods and nursing homes?

Although killing some of America’s poor and elderly with devastating weapons like the Tomahawk seems, you know, extreme, it makes financial sense.

The poor and the elderly are really a drag on our national economy. Other than guilt, they really don’t provide us with much, but cost us a fortune to sustain at a not-quite-morally acceptable level.

If you look at our federal budget, more than a third of it goes to Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security. Imagine if we cut this in half?

elderly people

The elderly have it coming

While we’re not certain that expending our total inventory of Tomahawks could kill enough poor or elderly Americans to halve entitlement spending, we do know that rebuilding the Tomahawk inventory would only cost us about $11 billion dollars.

We think it’s worth a shot. We’d be gambling billions, yes – but the upside is that we could save trillions.

Perhaps more if we also targeted the unemployed. This might be the best target yet since we could reduce unemployment compensation while reducing the number of people unemployed. Talk about win-win!

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