Are Insurance Sales and Assistant Crack Whore Vying for Lowest Form of Employment?

Based on recent, but decidedly unscientific research in the hierarchy of job classifications, selling insurance is the lowest form of employment.

While an age-old segment of “Weekend Update” on Saturday Night Live indicated the lowest form of employment was “assistant crack whore”, not a single crack whore has singled out my resume on Careerbuilder.com and sent me an email assuring me of persistent and fruitful employment.

Meanwhile, I’ve received at least a dozen entreaties from recruiters working for insurance companies I’ve actually heard of. I mean, what gives?

It would appear that people who sell insurance are regarded as highly as those who sell cars – meaning they are far more popular than your congressman, but are not considered animals you should necessarily “brake” for.

Perhaps the only reason salespeople in the automotive or insurance industries aren’t sought out by drivers as candidates for road kill is simply the lack of distinguishing physical characteristics.

Since there is no way to reliably identify salespeople from either industry, it may behoove us to enact legislation requiring them to be dressed as raccoons. Oh, and they must be required to walk everywhere!

Clearly, we would need some measure to contain the exuberance of drivers everywhere to keep them from jumping curbs to pick-off these faux coons who so clearly need to die or at least suffer debilitating long-term injuries that would keep them off your phone and out of your inbox for extended periods.

But that is just crazy talk.

Although some people might be prone to being generally persistent or pesky, the people selling you cars and/or insurance are no less human than you or me. Unfortunately, we love stereotypes because they give us cover to feel righteous in our indignation with people and things we find unpleasant.

While I’ve met salespeople that would fit neatly into the narrative that they are a lower-order species – some, I swear, could get through doors simply by oozing beneath them – to classify them all as egocentric dolts would, in fact, be the action of an egocentric dolt.

But most salespeople I’ve met, even those selling cars or insurance, have been naturally gregarious and exceedingly kind.

In fact, selling insurance is not the lowest form of employment. It requires a set of skills that are not only unique, but also requires a personality strong enough to deal with an unending series of rejections. The specialized nature of this work requires insurance companies to cast wide nets to keep their sales pipeline functioning.

So, as far as I know, assistant crack whore may still be the lowest form of employment available.

Tagged as: Automotive, crack whore, insurance sales