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Donald Trump as President?

by George on March 26, 2011

Donald Trump as President?

What’s amazing is that this is not the least-crazy option in the Republican field.

That slot is reserved for Michelle Bachmann or whoever the American Nazi Party nominates (presuming they are part of the Republican primary process).

While the prospect of an ‘animated tuft of hair’ occupying the Presidency is seemingly absurd, I am absolutely fascinated with the prospect of a model/actress becoming First Lady.

Although Melania Knauss-Trump, a former fashion model, is generally considered quite attractive, I’m not sure she’s got that typical American girl look that we are used to.

Melania Trump

Melania Trump

Frankly, I think she looks a little like Charles Bronson if he were a really hot female fashion model. I think it’s her eyes; Mrs. Trump does not have the impish squint of, say, a Renee Zellweger, it’s more, ah, I don’t know … reptilian?

I mean, don’t get me wrong, the woman has a great figure, but something about her perpetual squint and wide, thin mouth has me somewhat concerned her tongue might actually be able to snare insects in-flight.

While America is exceptional, I think we prefer the first-to-the-moon type of exceptional, not the oh-my-god-the-First-Lady-just-ate-a-fly exceptional.

Although the prospect of Donald and his reptilian wife should be anathema to anyone with a functioning brain stem, he represents conservatism’s only shot at getting a really hot First Lady. That is, unless those Tea Party sirens Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin put an end to all the speculation and finally get married.

Fortunately, the primaries won’t begin for another six months, so Donald Trump has plenty of time to upgrade to Wife 4.0 and regain the trust of warm-blooded Americans everywhere. Well, at least those that vote in Republican primaries.

If Donald feels compelled to have something imported, I would suggest he hook-up with Carla Bruni.

Carla Bruni

Carla Bruni would make a fine First Lady

Granted, she is still married to the President of France, but defeating the French in matrimony can’t be any more difficult than defeating them, well, anywhere else – so he should get started by June, at the latest.

If, however, “the Donald” wants to “buy American” he might consider Minka Kelly.

Minka Kelly

Minka Kelly would be the hottest First Lady since Eleanor Roosevelt

This is a woman so beautiful and compelling that her allure is only exceeded by that of my lovely wife, who is seated nearby, and is almost certain to read this.

Of course, Minka Kelly does come with a complication: she has a fiancee. Some guy named Derek Jeter.

I don’t know who he is, but perhaps it would be easier to just elect him President?

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Anja Likos April 25, 2011 at 11:09 am

Thanks for an idea, you sparked at thought from a angle I hadn’t given thoguht to yet. Now lets see if I can do something with it.


Linda J April 3, 2011 at 11:54 am

I would kill to have guns like Michelle. Just sayin’


Linda J April 3, 2011 at 11:52 am

I actually met and elderly gentlemen in the parking lot of my condo. He was enamored with little Scout. He knew who I am and started talking about my health, etc., and I educated him on the dangers to our health of plastics in re our food. The conversation then turned to politics and he stated with great profundity that by far, Donald Trump could run the country better than anyone else…..he criticized the bombing in Libya as spending money we don’t have…which lead to my asking him…how much do you think “shock and awe” cost during the Iraq war? He couldn’t answer..shrugged his shoulders and schlumped away. Life in the South, surrounded by Einsteins!!!


Bonnie April 2, 2011 at 4:42 am

She scares me more than the Donald’s hair.


Kathleen Mayberry March 29, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Yes, her eyes are the first thing I noticed. Just what look is she going for, it’s like “finish opening your eyes.” Not becoming at all. I have to agree, reptilian. Maybe she is stoned and trying to hide it???


Melissa Jones March 26, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Your lovely wifes thanks you!


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